Pretty much. I mean seriously, this whole past week has been bullshit.
I really feel like everyone in the world has it in for me. My supervisors, friends and teachers. It's like everyone's trying to drive me into a hole I'll never be able to come out of. Don't deny it either, not that any of the people I mentioned have a clue I have a blog. Good thing too i guess.
I let someone answer a question before mine and so he skipped me, and I kind of said "oh- bu-" But he had moved on to the next girl. So I asked him on break and even though he will answer everyone elses questions, he told me he could help me "problem solve" afterwards for sure. Lovely. Thanks. I wonder how many more times I will have to ask before I get an answer. Fuck, may as well just google it. Fucking google is more useful than any teachers I have had all year.
Same with my supervisors. All these new rules are just ways to make everyone working there miserable I guess. I mean, I used to love my job, now I'm ready to find a new one, after I rant though. MAN I haven't even voiced any of my thoughts lately. Makes it even worse too. Like yesterday when my partner in the group project we had "forgot" to tell me she was at her moms when she was supposed to meet me at the school. Waste of my fucking time; if you want something done right you have to do it yourself I guess.
I went to a career counsellor yesterday; at least that was something productive. He suggested I DO work to get into advertising, but first I should write my letter on WHY I should be accepted and see if that sparks a passion that I never noticed. Hopefully it works.
OH I'm also tired of this stupid bullshit about me not being a good friend because I would rather do my homework than go out and drink. I'm not doing that shit anymore. I've been going out more because I feel like my friends are gonna hate me if I decide to put school first, or like, since they are able to still have fun why can't I? So I go out anyways, and sure I have fun but I'm doing it for all the wrong reasons and I am SO FUCKING SICK of this immature bullshit. Fuck. I'm really needing a change here.
Shaun keeps me goin at least. I don't even think he has a clue how fucking angry I've been because when I am with him, it all goes away for a while and I usually don't feel the need to ruin how nice it is to just be with him with all these stupid things going on.
Fucking crappy school year and crappy job and crappy lifestyle choices. I feel like I'm better than all this and I still let it get me down. Really down too. All I want to do is get a career and grow up, start a family and spend time with my own family. Ugh. I don't need all this.
grow up people. cuz if this is what it's like to be an adult than fuck that, this world is doomed.
No comments:
Post a Comment