COOL. I write like someone else

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I put a couple pieces of my writing in and got the same name so that's neat lol

Anyways, I should do a little update here... Since we are not far from Halloween and I have last years Halloween entry on the same page as this.

I'm still at Value Village, Selina lives in Ottawa, I'm a bit crazier than I used to be in a sense and I start my first day of my first year in Advertising at Algonquin College tomorrow at 2pm, even though I will be there for like 7:30am so that I can get my OSAP since I owe Shaun money like crazy. Yep. My life is wonderful even though it sucks. And I'm happy even though I should probably not be... but whatever, a few wires maybe got a little loose over the past few months and there's reason for that but we won't get into it.

I spent my one whole day to myself not doing anything I wanted to do at all, but oh well. Instead of getting up at a decent hour, chilling with Selina, having a lunch/supper with Shaun and then going to Aleisha's (from work) IIIIIIII slept in until almost 2pm, went downtown with Shaun around 4:30 to get groceries since everything was closed since it was Labour Day today, then made some yummy calzones from scratch (which was actually kind of fun) and then sat online, barely even on facebook, just kind of sitting here in a daze... not really thinking about anything in particular, but my brain is so unorganized I feel like all the junk I keep trying to stuff in there will just burst out soon and then we will be in for some catastrophic event for sure.

I had some insane dreams last night that ended with me wanting to end my life which I have never really thought of wanting to do so I don't think anyone needs to worry, it's just the strange way my brain sorts things out in there. It's weird. I mean, I don't know, maybe I deserve to not have my life but I think that puts me in the same place as most people in the world... Lots of people have done things that make them feel unworthy of what they have, haven't they?

Well, I won't plunge too deep into those hidden creases of my mind because we may never come out....

I'm nervous and excited for school and OW Clarrice was been pawing at me all day!!! lol Silly cat. I don't know if I have what it takes to be in Advertising... It sounds all so terribly interesting to me but frig... I'm not a salesperson and I hate salespeople and I friggin despise the thought of putting a pretty picture on products I don't believe in... Wow... What if I'm making a huge mistake and this is a waste, but if it's not what I should be doing then I have no idea what I'm supposed to be going in to... I wish I just had a crazy passion for something... I've said that a billion times... Does it really matter? Damn, I waste too much of my time on things that don't matter don't I?? Facebook especially... That's my safe escape, when I don't know what to do with myself I go to facebook. HA laaaammmeee. But really, I could do so many things with my free time but instead I turn into a complete zombie, I don't organize myself properly and I am just too stubborn to get help because I figure I shouldn't need help by now! These are problems I struggled with through out high school and I hate that I would feel like a high schooler looking for a handout. This is a grown up problem that me, a grown up, should be able to deal with

LOL I'm a "grown up" now I guess. What a joke.... when did that happen anyways? Was I 16? 18? 20? I'll be 22 in less than a month you know... Twenty fucking two. Wow... What the hell. I'm glad so few people read this... once I let my mouth.. ermm.. fingers run over this keyboard for too long, strange things come out that I don't realize I have stuffed in my mind... but hey, maybe this little blog will be able to help me with my over filled mind... Let me spill some of my messy mind's contents onto your clear electronic pages. It's a release of some sort I suppose. And as Shirlena Johnson on Xfactor told us, "Everybody needs a release, don't you like it sometimes??" yeah... I do like it sometimes Shirlena. thanks ;)

Well, time to go, I actually feel wonderful after blurting that all out on here. Better remember to do that more often. I may need it.

Goodnight blog.

GoodBye Sweet Coffee-At-Home Dreams

time for a new coffee pot. oh HA as for making coffee... i was SO excited cuz i remembered i had a coffee machine 11:55 and so the other night, i friggin went to get it out to make myself some 11:55 and i was dancing a little bit because i was happy that i was able to make it 11:55 and i went to pick it up out of the cupboard and the big coffee pot smashed everywhere 11:56 SO ironic 11:56

lol a new machine?? Hannanananaaahhh :S @ 11:56 OHH dear 11:56

no not new, from aunt Gloria but STILL Temina @ 11:56 i was talkin on msn, sayin how i needed to do homework but i was soooo tired and they suggested coffee and i like jumped up cuz i was like YES I CAN MAKE MY OWN RIGHT NOW 11:56 and then i couldnt 11:57 and it was a very humbling experience 11:57

lol

Well, I feel better now anyways. It's so gorgeous out that I can't hold a grudge. My partner came to class for English and we're caught up until tomorrow anyways, so that's a relief anddd YEAH.

It's all good. I think I'm going to need to schedule in some updating time on here cuz my blog is almost useless lately.

I applied to Advertising, Animation and Professional Writing! I'm really hoping to be accepted into advertising and OH I better go write that paper RIGHT NOW!! BYE

In Computer Design Class

Complete bullshit...

Pretty much. I mean seriously, this whole past week has been bullshit.

I really feel like everyone in the world has it in for me. My supervisors, friends and teachers. It's like everyone's trying to drive me into a hole I'll never be able to come out of. Don't deny it either, not that any of the people I mentioned have a clue I have a blog. Good thing too i guess.

I let someone answer a question before mine and so he skipped me, and I kind of said "oh- bu-" But he had moved on to the next girl. So I asked him on break and even though he will answer everyone elses questions, he told me he could help me "problem solve" afterwards for sure. Lovely. Thanks. I wonder how many more times I will have to ask before I get an answer. Fuck, may as well just google it. Fucking google is more useful than any teachers I have had all year.

Same with my supervisors. All these new rules are just ways to make everyone working there miserable I guess. I mean, I used to love my job, now I'm ready to find a new one, after I rant though. MAN I haven't even voiced any of my thoughts lately. Makes it even worse too. Like yesterday when my partner in the group project we had "forgot" to tell me she was at her moms when she was supposed to meet me at the school. Waste of my fucking time; if you want something done right you have to do it yourself I guess.

I went to a career counsellor yesterday; at least that was something productive. He suggested I DO work to get into advertising, but first I should write my letter on WHY I should be accepted and see if that sparks a passion that I never noticed. Hopefully it works.

OH I'm also tired of this stupid bullshit about me not being a good friend because I would rather do my homework than go out and drink. I'm not doing that shit anymore. I've been going out more because I feel like my friends are gonna hate me if I decide to put school first, or like, since they are able to still have fun why can't I? So I go out anyways, and sure I have fun but I'm doing it for all the wrong reasons and I am SO FUCKING SICK of this immature bullshit. Fuck. I'm really needing a change here.

Shaun keeps me goin at least. I don't even think he has a clue how fucking angry I've been because when I am with him, it all goes away for a while and I usually don't feel the need to ruin how nice it is to just be with him with all these stupid things going on.

Fucking crappy school year and crappy job and crappy lifestyle choices. I feel like I'm better than all this and I still let it get me down. Really down too. All I want to do is get a career and grow up, start a family and spend time with my own family. Ugh. I don't need all this.

grow up people. cuz if this is what it's like to be an adult than fuck that, this world is doomed.