I put a couple pieces of my writing in and got the same name so that's neat lol
Anyways, I should do a little update here... Since we are not far from Halloween and I have last years Halloween entry on the same page as this.
I'm still at Value Village, Selina lives in Ottawa, I'm a bit crazier than I used to be in a sense and I start my first day of my first year in Advertising at Algonquin College tomorrow at 2pm, even though I will be there for like 7:30am so that I can get my OSAP since I owe Shaun money like crazy. Yep. My life is wonderful even though it sucks. And I'm happy even though I should probably not be... but whatever, a few wires maybe got a little loose over the past few months and there's reason for that but we won't get into it.
I spent my one whole day to myself not doing anything I wanted to do at all, but oh well. Instead of getting up at a decent hour, chilling with Selina, having a lunch/supper with Shaun and then going to Aleisha's (from work) IIIIIIII slept in until almost 2pm, went downtown with Shaun around 4:30 to get groceries since everything was closed since it was Labour Day today, then made some yummy calzones from scratch (which was actually kind of fun) and then sat online, barely even on facebook, just kind of sitting here in a daze... not really thinking about anything in particular, but my brain is so unorganized I feel like all the junk I keep trying to stuff in there will just burst out soon and then we will be in for some catastrophic event for sure.
I had some insane dreams last night that ended with me wanting to end my life which I have never really thought of wanting to do so I don't think anyone needs to worry, it's just the strange way my brain sorts things out in there. It's weird. I mean, I don't know, maybe I deserve to not have my life but I think that puts me in the same place as most people in the world... Lots of people have done things that make them feel unworthy of what they have, haven't they?
Well, I won't plunge too deep into those hidden creases of my mind because we may never come out....
I'm nervous and excited for school and OW Clarrice was been pawing at me all day!!! lol Silly cat. I don't know if I have what it takes to be in Advertising... It sounds all so terribly interesting to me but frig... I'm not a salesperson and I hate salespeople and I friggin despise the thought of putting a pretty picture on products I don't believe in... Wow... What if I'm making a huge mistake and this is a waste, but if it's not what I should be doing then I have no idea what I'm supposed to be going in to... I wish I just had a crazy passion for something... I've said that a billion times... Does it really matter? Damn, I waste too much of my time on things that don't matter don't I?? Facebook especially... That's my safe escape, when I don't know what to do with myself I go to facebook. HA laaaammmeee. But really, I could do so many things with my free time but instead I turn into a complete zombie, I don't organize myself properly and I am just too stubborn to get help because I figure I shouldn't need help by now! These are problems I struggled with through out high school and I hate that I would feel like a high schooler looking for a handout. This is a grown up problem that me, a grown up, should be able to deal with
LOL I'm a "grown up" now I guess. What a joke.... when did that happen anyways? Was I 16? 18? 20? I'll be 22 in less than a month you know... Twenty fucking two. Wow... What the hell. I'm glad so few people read this... once I let my mouth.. ermm.. fingers run over this keyboard for too long, strange things come out that I don't realize I have stuffed in my mind... but hey, maybe this little blog will be able to help me with my over filled mind... Let me spill some of my messy mind's contents onto your clear electronic pages. It's a release of some sort I suppose. And as Shirlena Johnson on Xfactor told us, "Everybody needs a release, don't you like it sometimes??" yeah... I do like it sometimes Shirlena. thanks ;)
Well, time to go, I actually feel wonderful after blurting that all out on here. Better remember to do that more often. I may need it.
Goodnight blog.
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